No Time For Fear


You know how some days you grab a cup of coffee with your BFF just to talk about your favorite clothes and running shoes and lip gloss?  Then other days you need her to talk through the really important stuff?  Get cozy friends, it’s an “important stuff” kind of day 🙂

Seven years ago today, my daughter was hospitalized with bacterial meningitis and subsequent stroke caused by the infection.  After her diagnosis, we were told there was a chance she wouldn’t survive … and if she did, she may not be able to do some things that many kids take for granted, like walking or running or riding a bike. She was only 18 months old.  As a parent, nothing paralyzes you like knowing that whatever happens is absolutely and completely out of your control.

But God gave us a miracle that day (followed by hundreds of little miracles in the days and weeks and months to come).  My baby girl not only survived, she began an amazing recovery during her stay in the hospital. Thanks to dozens of amazing pediatric rehabilitation therapists and a little friendly competition with her twin sister, my daughter started crawling and talking again within weeks of coming home from the hospital and was able to tear up the dance floor at my cousin’s wedding, where these sisters served as flower girls, less then 4 months after her discharge!!


Many years ago, long before I had children, a friend said something that has stuck with me all this time, “Your WHY has to be bigger than your FEAR for true change to take place.”  My daughter didn’t waste any time being afraid of what would happen if she tried to walk and fell down or if she tried to talk and the words didn’t sound right.  But even at 18 months old, she understood that she had to keep trying if she wanted to get better.  Did she show up at therapy grumpy sometimes?  Absolutely!  But she worked hard regardless of her mood.  Her “why” as far as she knew was to play like and with her sister.  That left no time for fear. 

"My expression when someone says they would love to workout but don't have time. If you don't make time now, you'll be making time later sitting at your doctor's office! Take care of YOU!" ~ local trainer Shae Simpson

“My expression when someone says they would love to workout but don’t have time. If you don’t make time now, you’ll be making time later sitting at your doctor’s office! Take care of YOU!” ~ local trainer Shae Simpson {}


You could apply this principle to any aspect of your life, including (and especially)  fitness!  We can all find a million reasons to not work out.  Of course we don’t have any time … we are parents, IF we had “free time” we’d already be spending it doing something with or for our children.  Of course someone’s always sick, or tired, or hungry … I get it!  These are all legitimate excuses to not start (or maintain) some sort of fitness routine.  I could give you a hundred more off the top of my head, because I repeat them to myself every morning when that alarm goes off for my “dark-thirty” run.  But I get up anyway.

Because my why is bigger than my fear.  My “why’s” include things like being a healthy role model for my kids, having more energy to keep up with my family and setting goals then making them happen, just to name a few. But mostly, my “why” is for me.  It was terrifying to say that that for a while – it felt wrong because it sounded selfish.  But the truth of the matter is that I am a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, helper, and person when I run.  You know what another word for fear is?  Excuses Yep, each one of us has to overcome our fears … our excuses … every single day if we’re trying to make a change.


And I am forever grateful to my trampoline-loving, bike-riding, always-singing 8 year old for granting me this perspective and for continuing to teach me some of life’s greatest lessons! 🙂



9 thoughts on “No Time For Fear

  1. Abby Butts says:

    I can’t believe that was 7 years ago. I also can’t believe that Cole is now the same age as your sweet daughter was when she was sick. I think its time for me to start thinking about making time for exercise and why I need to make that happen, instead of thinking of all the things I’m afraid of if I don’t. It is hard to reframe the time for exercise as a necessity for me.

    1. Java & Sole says:

      Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and other days I still can’t believe all of that really happened. When I’m trying to talk myself out of a workout, the same image always pops into my head of the flight attendant telling me to secure my own oxygen mask before assisting others in the event of an emergency. If we don’t first take care of ourselves, we will have a hard time keeping up with our growing families!

  2. Brook says:

    Every time she and N are on the beach together it brings tears to my eyes because that was my only prayer for so long. So happy that you have found some time for you… even if it is at crazy dark thirty. And thank you for convincing me to give it a try.

    1. Java & Sole says:

      It makes my heart so happy to watch our miracle babies grow up together! God is good… I am so glad you have embraced my craziness, and don’t hate me for begging you to give it a try!!

  3. sveltemom01 says:

    Every time I drive by Uno on 86th street I remember how sick Ava was at our lunch together, and how terribly it all went afterward. Your strength and faith were incredible then, as they are now.

    And yes, I agree that the best motivator to keep going with fitness is to realize it is an investment. If I want to be around to play with my grandchildren and travel the world in retirement, then I have to take care of my body now. 🙂

    1. Java & Sole says:

      It’s funny you mention that, that is about the only thing I remember from the few days leading up to her hospitalization. There will forever be an image engrained in my head of her laying in the stroller that day. So many memories remain from that exact moment – they are actually harder emotionally for me to focus on than the first hours in the hospital when we still didn’t understand what was happening. So extremely grateful God kept urging me to take her in even though we “knew” it was just an ear infection.

  4. Liz says:

    This is so great, Brandi. You are such an inspiration to me. Witnessing you go through everything you did with your sweet girl…you became even more incredible to me as a friend, mother and role model. You have now become a huge inspiration to others in balancing a healthy life style and encouraging mothers to make times for themselves amidst the craziness of balancing family and careers as well. Beautiful post. Beautiful lady. Beautiful family!! xo

    1. Java & Sole says:

      Thank you :). Your words mean so much to me!! You are definitely a great encourager as well – you always seem to know exactly when and how to lift me (and many others!!!!) up when we need it most! You are an amazing friend!

  5. Jeani says:

    So incredibly proud of you….and Ava!

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